Drunken Confessions
by outerelf
Summary: High-grade isn't always the best. Red/Inferno oneshot


Red Alert nodded as he finished up with the last of the datapads. Inferno entered the room just as Red Alert was about to leave. "Hey Red, where ya going?"

"To get plastered." Red Alert replied calmly.

Infernos jaw dropped. "Umm, Red, Prime banned you off of high-grade after you glued the tables to the ceiling, remember?"

"So toss me in the brig." Red Alert snarled. "I'm going to go get drunk."

Inferno was vaguely surprised by this very unusual behavior. "Red, are you feeling alright?"

"Of course I am!" Red Alert snarled. "I can get drunk sometimes, can't I?"

Inferno walked quickly to catch up with his friend as Red alert moved through the hallways. "Red, what's with wanting to get drunk anyways?"

"The twins are determined to beat me in a drinking contest." Red Alert snapped back. "They've bugged me and bugged me until I finally gave in. They're going to give me enough energon to pass out, or so they claim."

"So they claim?"

"I usually glitch before I pass out Inferno. That's why I requested Ratchet."

"You pulled Ratchet into this? And he agreed?"

"I promised him that I would keep the twins off his back for an entire day." Red Alert said simply. "So that way he had time enough to himself."

As Inferno followed Red Alert, he couldn't help but feel like this was a _bad_ idea.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Red Alert smirked drunkenly as he finished off the twelfth cube of the scientists special brew. Jaws had cracked around the Ark. "Primus, how does Red Alert do that?" one asked. "I always thought of him being a lightweight-"

Red Alert smirked at that, rising to his feet. The drink slurring his voice so that it was barely intelligible he said, "Give up twins! Ya can never beat me!"

The twins glared at Red Alert as they grabbed their own cubes. Nobody was surprised that they had lasted out this long, but judging from how they were looking… Ratchet unexpectedly broke in. "That's enough, you bots drink anymore, and you'll get poisoned from too much high-grade."

Groans went up from the crowd. Ratchet scowled, about to touch Red Alert who instantly scrambled back, tensing. Ratchet hissed in frustration. "Inferno, get Red Alert to his room, and make sure that he doesn't wander off anywhere. We don't want to have Red Alert causing trouble like he did last time."

Red Alert protested, "I can take care of myself."

Inferno snorted disbelievingly, looking at Red Alert. "Somehow I don't believe that Red."

Red Alert scowled, and determinedly staggered out of the room. Jazz murmured approvingly to Prowl, "He can walk in a semi-straight line."

The door slid shut, and Red Alerts optics tiredly offlined, as a hand went to his helm. Infernos earlier disbelief was replaced with concern. "Ya alright?"

"Fine, just a slight CPU ache." Red Alert replied. Suddenly he straightened and dashed right by Inferno. "Come and catch me if you can."

Inferno stood, stunned for a moment. Then he snarled, "Slag!" before rushing off after his errant friend. "Red, c'mon Red!"

Red Alert was always one hallway before Inferno, and Inferno had a nasty suspicion that the reason why he hadn't lost sight of Red Alert yet was because Red Alert could barely run in a straight line. _I keep forgetting that he's as fast as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. After all, they are all the same types of cars._

Red Alert stopped in front of his own room, and Inferno came running up, panting. "What, Red-"

"Ratchet did say that you had to look after me." Red Alerts drunken optics glinted with unholy amusement. "So, want to come in?"

Inferno stared at the security director. _Should I? He's drunk, and if he remembers that I was in his room… he wouldn't invite me in if he weren't drunk, would he?_

Red Alert tapped one foot impatiently as he stared at Inferno. "Well, Ratchet did say to keep an optic on ya." Inferno said at last, looking at Red Alert warily.

Red Alert nodded, opening up the door. Inferno, curious, leaned in. The room was devoid of all ornaments. Red Alert entered the room, humming softly to himself. "Welcome to my humble room. I don't spend much time here, so excuse the dust."

Inferno shook his head. Despite Red Alerts chronic avoidance of his room, the room was sparkling clean. A vast difference between his and Red Alerts.

Red Alert sat down onto his recharge bunk, only to pop up again to pace around the room slightly. Inferno thought about leaving until he realized - _Wait, Ratchet didn't want me to stick around until Reds fallen into recharge, does he?_ Inferno wondered, thinking fast. _Red Alert in recharge… I've never seen that before. I wonder how he looks._

Inferno blushed, even as he looked at Red Alert pointedly. "Ratchet said something about recharging?"

Red Alert staggered to his booth, Inferno aching to help him. "Hey Inferno?"

Inferno looked at Red Alert, who was curling up on the recharge bunk. "Yeah Red?"

"I really like somebody. But I don't know how to say it."

Infernos spark nearly froze. "You like someone Red?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Secret."

"Red! I can't help ya if I don't know who you're talking about!" _I'm going to find whomever Red likes and going to rip their sparks out._ Inferno thought furiously. _Nobody is taking Red away from me._

Red Alert eyed Inferno out of the corner of his optics, and then at last looked away, shrugging. "I don't really want to say."

Inferno moved towards Red Alert, looming over the curled up Autobot. "Red, who do you like?"

Red Alert shook his head. Inferno groaned, and sat down next to Red Alert. "Ya know, I don't care who you like."

Red Alerts optics shuttered at that, as he looked at his friend. "What makes you say that?"

For an answer Infernos head moved forward all of an inch, lip components meeting. Red Alert froze, and Inferno could feel the heavy silence that drooped between them, as he pulled away. He could still taste the high-grade that coated Red Alerts lips. "Inferno- you-" Red Alert stuttered, before collapsing, the stress form both the high-grade and the kiss too much.

And Inferno cursed himself. _Slag, why did I do that? Red clearly likes somebody else- Argh, hopefully he won't remember this in the morning._

Hurriedly Inferno let himself out of Red Alerts room, not casting a second look back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Red Alert staggered into the cafeteria, despite it being crowded. His stomach was empty, his head as hurting, and he knew something important had happened last night, he just couldn't remember _what-_ "Red!" Inferno said, surprised to see the paranoid security director in the middle of the crowded cafeteria.

Instantly Red Alert latched onto Inferno. "Inferno, help me get a cube and to get out of here _before_ someone tries to kill me please."

Inferno shook his head as he guided Red Alert to a small table in the very back of the cafeteria. "Stay here Red. I'll go get your breakfast."

With that, Inferno disappeared into the crowd. Red Alerts head connected with the cool, hard surface of the table, as he struggled to think about last night. Something important had happened, now if only he could remember- Red Alert groaned inwardly as it hovered just out of reach.

The twins staggered to his table, Sunstreaker looking slightly green, Sideswipe looking even worse. "How you feeling?"

"Horrible. How did you convince me again?" Red Alert whispered. It hurt to talk.

All three winced as a particular loud spurt of noise crashed into their sensitive receptors, and Red Alert placed both hands over them. "Please Inferno, get back here with the cube so that way I can drink it and go." Red Alert moaned.

The twins looked at him enviously. "You got Inferno getting yours?"

"Do you know of anyone else who'd look twice at me?" Red Alert hissed back.

Prowl appeared at that moment, holding two cubes. "Red Alert, have you seen Jazz?"

Red Alert shook his head, and Prowl frowned slightly in disappointment. "Very well."

Inferno appeared, cubes in hand. "Here ya go Red."

Red Alert sipped gingerly at the cube, wincing as his CPU felt rattled with each sip. Inferno looked at Red Alert, asking hesitantly. "Do you remember last night?"

Red Alert shook his head. Inferno felt slightly disappointed, but he nodded. "What did happen?" Red Alert croaked, then realized it might not be the best idea out here in the open.

"Never mind. Follow me somewhere safer." Red Alert muttered, beckoning to Inferno.

Inferno followed Red Alert amusedly, wondering where Red Alert was going. They passed by the security room, and Inferno stopped dead as Red Alert stopped in front of his own door. He was going back into Red Alerts room. Red Alert typed in the code, and looked at Inferno, hesitating. "Would you like to come in?"

Inferno nodded eagerly. Despite it having no ornaments, it still felt like Red Alert, and it was something he knew no one else could say they had ever done. _Not that many want to come into Red's room, but that's fine with me._ Inferno smiled to himself. It simply meant he had less competition for Red Alerts time.

Inferno followed Red Alert inside, and Red Alert sat down on the recharge booth. "what happened?"

"Well, you told me that you liked somebody Red, and you wanted my advice on telling them how." Inferno said softly. "I told ya I can't tell you anything unless you describe what their like, and you refused to tell me who it is."

Red Alert sighed, optics offlining. "Oh."

"So, who do ya like Red?" Inferno asked, settling down next to the security director, ready to storm after whoever was stated. Autobot or not, he was going to get rid of them. "Well… never mind." Red alert said quickly. "I doubt they like me back anyways."

Infernos optics narrowed even further. "Red-"

"Inferno, please, I don't want to talk about it." Red Alert said, looking miserable.

Inferno hesitated, wondering if his next move would be alright- He tossed all caution to the winds and leaned forward to kiss red Alert soundly on the lips. Red Alerts optics widened, as he stiffened slightly.

Inferno ignored the slight stiffening, gathering the security director closer. Red Alert resisted for a nanoclick, then melted in Infernos arms, optics offlining as he moaned in contentment.

SsSsSsSsSsSs

And the rest, dear readers, is a given. Of course, I doubt they could do much with Red Alert over energized, but still… A challenge. 'drunken confessions' I believe I t was. And it wasn't directed to me, but it was somewhere on some community, I picked it up, and twisted it for this story. I'll probably tear it down and redo it later, because I think its a little off.


End file.
